


Filling in plotholes

by spae



Series: Dangerous Hobby [4]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Characters Reading Fanfiction, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 16:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15343737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spae/pseuds/spae
Summary: In which Abby interrogates McGee, and makes his investigative spider-sense tingle.





	Filling in plotholes

“Tell me everything, McGee!”

Abby pointed to a chair and glared at McGee until he sat down, gingerly cradling the arm she had walloped.

“What? It’s not like it was the longest conversation in the world; we actually had pretty important work to do and with Gibbs watching over my shoulder, I –”

“Oh, just get _on_ with it,” Abby brandished a pipette threateningly. “Start at the beginning; if I get bored, I’ll let you know.”

McGee sighed.

“Fine, all right. So once the connection went through, I said hello and then he said hello, and then I asked him if he was enjoying life as an agent at sea because he’d said the camera was making me look fat –”

Abby grinned and leaned forward to pinch one of his cheeks before darting back out of reach.

McGee attempted a frown, though really it was more of a pout. “Anyway, then Tony decides to embrace his inner Jack Sparrow, minus the hair and the rum.” Despite himself, he chuckles as part of the conversation comes back to him. “He came up with all this pirate talk, scurvy and landlubbers, and the beauty of life on the ocean wave – he even had a name for Gibbs! Ha! What was that he said –”

“Bluebeard!” Abby squealed happily. “Oh no, no! _Silver_ beard; scourge of the seven seas and bane of red-headed women!”

McGee snorted a laugh, but waved a hand to silence her. “I am trying to remember here, um … something about a pirate king … maybe … Oh! I remember, Captain _One-shot_ Gibbs!”

Abby raised both eyebrows in surprise, sitting back. “Captain One-Shot Gibbs?” she asked doubtfully. “The scurrilous, black-hearted pirate king?”

“Uh,” McGee cocked his head and looked up at her. “That sounds pretty accurate, actually,” he admits. “Is that a movie character?”

“Something like that.”

Abby pulled herself back to her computer and fumbled feverishly for a moment on the keyboard.

“So, is that all you wanted?” McGee eyed the door longingly.

“Oh, hell, no,” she said without turning away from the screen. “You keep talking, McGee. I’ll let you know when you can stop.”

McGee slumped over the small side table and looked across at her.

“Okay, so then Gibbs stepped out in front of the camera, and Tony nearly _died_ , from the panic etched into his face. It was amusing,” McGee smiled. “And then Tony hit _himself_ on the back of the head without being prompted and we got to work.”

“Uh huh,” Abby was still engrossed in her monitor.

“Well, then he started talking so much trash, and far too loud, whining that I was gonna crash his car and he didn’t want me driving it, and he called Gibbs _Pa_ and he was continually leaning forward and stage-whispering conspiratorially that I don’t know _how_ no one was suspicious. If someone had been watching him, he would have been escorted off by the men in white coats immediately after we disconnected for serious evaluation.”

“That’s my Tony,” Abby nodded, and hint of a smile on her face as she continued to stare at her screen. “Crazy like a fox and just as sophisticated.”

“Yeah, yeah.” McGee frowned. “Then it was just more the same thing – nothing special. He told ‘Pa’ he doesn’t like the way I always mess up his stuff and shouldn’t be allowed to touch it, with a segue into begging Gibbs to get him off the boat. I mean, it’s weird; even with Tony being a complete dick, we managed to get the stuff done fast, and then he was all, _Great to see you, Pa, say hi to Mom and don’t forget to feed the chickens_  and … yeah, anyway, I just got a sense that he was over-egging it. I told him not to fall overboard, and just looks even crazier and snarks back at me, _More likely to jump_  or something, and –“

“Gibbs should really take care of that,” Abby said, glancing at her wall of Tony’s postcards.

McGee eyed her with concern. “Mhmm, anyway, that was it. Gibbs silenced him with a _DiNozzo_ and Tony answered with _Pa?_ as if he’s a damn pilgrim, and Gibbs gets all serious and says, _You take care of yourself_ , as if I hadn’t _just_ said the same thing to his crazy ass, and then Tony was all, _I miss you too, Dad_ and it was all over.”

Abby made a moue of distaste. “You really have to work on your narrative talent, Timmy. You said it like you were leaving out all the good parts.”

Indignantly, McGee widened his eyes. “That’s _how it happened_ , Abs. There were not many ‘good parts’!”

Abby smiled benevolently. “Maybe,” she said. “But Gibbs or Tony would have told this story differently. If this were your book, how would you describe Tibbs’ point of view?”

“Come on,” grumbled McGee. “How many times do I have to say that Tibbs is not Gibbs?”

Abby cracked up. “Until you realise how pointless that argument is? Come on, humour me. Tell me the story from Gibbs’ – okay, Tibbs’ point of view.”

“Uh, okay.” McGee sighed and leaned back in the chair to stare at the ceiling. “It would go something like this … ‘Come on, McGregor, get on there, get Tommy onscreen’ and Tommy would be all, ‘Where’s Tibbs?’ in his pirate accent and Tibbs would be quite grumpy and ‘I’d give you such a slap upside the head if you were here’ and Tommy would be all, ‘Get me back, boss – I hate living with five thousand other men’ and McGregor would be, ‘Hey, is there any chance of getting this information stealing done?’ and Tibbs would be down with that, but Tommy would be all, ‘Oh but Dad, McGregor won’t put oil in my car, stop him driving it, oh and also get me a straitjacket’ and Tibbs would be all weirdly smiley and McGregor would roll his eyes –”

“Oh hell, stop!” Abby gasped despairingly. “Stop, okay? I get it.”

“So, can I go?” McGee asked hopefully. “All this talk has made me pretty thirsty.”

Abby nodded and watched him leave with a calculating expression. “And bring me a Caf-Pow!” she shouted as she heard him board the elevator.

 

With McGee safely out of the way, Abby focused completely on the screen in front of her.

The fanfiction part of McGee’s _Deep Six_ website had grown steadily over the past six months, with some new fans and fic authors added after the paperback was released. Fanfiction was one of Abby’s tamer vices; in the early days, she had read a ton of Amy-fic to see what people were doing with her character, but had been turned off by the way she was invariably written as a vapid, bouncing shrieker of a girl, with barely any characterisation beyond that. Sure, it was nice to see the variety of being paired off with every character going, but Abby was surprised that Amy was not tested regularly for substance abuse. And anyway, sometimes a girl needed a little man on man action to get her juices flowing, but she had obviously not been back to this site for a couple of months, because there were a lot of new stories winking suggestively at her.

“Aha! Found you!” Abby curled into a protective huddle round her screen, and sat down to read the ribald tale of a lusty pirate king, who, on surprising a sailing ship bound for Europe with many rich nobles on board, had scuttled her after taking possession of her fine wines, expensive trinkets and a strong and pretty youth who fought back hard.

“There is _no chance on Earth_ that Tony could have made up _that_ name,” Abby smirked secretly to herself, as One-Shot Tibbs tethered Tommy to the wheel and buried himself in his captive, taking him in view of the entire crew. “He _must_ have read Tibbs/Tommy fic! The little _shit_ to say it straight to Gibbs’ face – I _wish_ I’d been there!”

She left Tommy well-fucked in Captain Tibbs’ bed and clicked on the series’ link, noting with delight that there were six more stories in the ‘verse, which she hadn’t read. Making a mental note to come back to them later, Abby clicked away to look for another fic.

She typed daddy!kink into the search function and blinked rapidly at all the fics which came up. She had not known it was so popular, but okay. She scanned the list for something that caught her interest, and noted that some of them were written by TSM4, who had written the pirate fic. Abby made another mental note (and resigned herself to a few very late nights) and clicked on a fic called, ‘Flying under the radar’. She was laughing almost immediately at the premise, as the irrepressible Tommy said something outrageous while undercover as Tibbs’ son, and Tibbs could not do anything about it while on the job, muttering something about ‘Wait till I get you home’. Later, naughty Tommy’s ass was paddled thoroughly for his behaviour and for not being sorry for it, as well as for embarrassing his Daddy, although Tommy enjoyed every moment of his spanking and the snuggling that followed it.

Abby laughed delightedly at the prospect of spending some time tonight reading more of TSM4’s stuff – she seemed quite prolific and had obviously added lots to the fandom despite being new on the scene only a short while ago; but Abby liked her style and that mattered a lot.

An alarm went off in the inner lab, signalling the end of a cycle; Abby minimised the window and went to collect her results.

A few moments later, she heard McGee’s voice.

“Hey Abs? Gotcha Caf-Pow here.”

“Just set it on the table, McGee,” she called back. “Thanks, Timmy.”

 

McGee eyed Abby’s computer shrewdly after setting down the addictive drink. _Something_ had been strange about that conversation with Tony, and the proof was on Abby’s computer. Tim didn’t like feeling like he was the only one who didn’t know what was going on.

Hastily, with a few keystrokes, he sent himself a copy of her internet history and withdrew before he was caught.

**Author's Note:**

> Written a million years ago.


End file.
